How Deep Is The Ocean?
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The Meatloaf of Deliciousness

(your results may vary)

• 1 oz.dried porcini mushrooms
• 2 cupswater
• 1 cupbread crumbs
• 1 cupmilk
• 2 tblolive oil
• 1 cupchopped onion
• 2 clovesgarlic, chopped
• 1 lb.crimini mushrooms, sliced
• 1 tblWorcestershire sauce
• 1/4 cupfresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped
• 2 tspfresh thyme, chopped
• 1 tblkosher salt
• 1 tspcracked black pepper
• 1 lb.ground beef, round 85% lean
• 1 lb.ground pork
• 1 lb.ground turkey

1. Rinse the dried porcini mushrooms, then combine them with the water in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil, then simmer for 30 minutes.
2. While the dried mushrooms are steeping, over medium-high heat melt the onions and garlic until soft and transluscent. Add the crimini mushrooms and cook until soft, careful not to sweat off too much liquid. Remove from stove and spread the mushroom mixture on a plate to cool. Remember to season as you cook.
3. Strain the porcini mushrooms, but save the liquid! Finely chop the porcini mushrooms, almost to a paste. Set aside.
4. Once the mushroom mixture has cooled to room temperature, in a large bowl combine all of the remaining ingredients, including the mushroom mixture, and chopped porcini mushrooms. This is where you own judgement must take over. You have two cups of reserved mushroom broth you may add to the meatloaf. This stuff is the nectar of the gods, so if you can get all of it into the meatloaf you will be rewarded. The trick is that you need to add it in batches. If you feel like the mixture can’t absorb anymore liquid, you’re probably wrong. It can. But you can stop if you’re chicken. Rinse your hands with cold water, and dig in to mix the ingredients. Try not to overmix because it will make the meatloaf more dense.
5. Place in a meatloaf pan, forming a nice dome on the top. I can guarantee that the meatloaf will look too large for the pan. Don’t worry, it will contract as it cooks. Place the meatloaf, uncovered, in the oven on the middle rack. You need to put a drip pan beneath the meatloaf to catch any liquid that runs over the sides (Do not skip this step. It will drip. It’s a big wet meatloaf that’s dangerously close to overflowing its pan).
6. Cook for approximately one hour to one hour and half until the internal temparature is 150-155 degrees. Remove from the oven, cover loosely with foil, and let stand for 15 minutes. After that point, you should be able to gently remove the meatloaf from the pan. How you do this is entirely up to you, but I’ve found that a strong spatula and a pair of tongs works best. Slice it up, and serve with mashed potatoes and slow-cooked, Southern-style green beans. No gravy or ketchup is necessary, because this recipe rocks.

When you’re done with the meatloaf, you’ll wish you had more, so I’ve begun to double the recipe and cook two meatloaves at the same time. You can always freeze it.

“Abandon all hope ye who put ketchup on your meatloaf”